Posted in Movie reviews

The Worst

Hello everybody,

This weekend we went to see 50 Shades of Grey . I will not judge you if you un-follow me right now.

Books are always tricky to adapt into a movie. Good books are difficult . Bad books I’m pretty sure are impossible. Enter 50 Shades of Grey as the absolute worst adaptation I have ever seen (I kid you not , the movie ends mid-sentence).

I wished that they had thrown out the script entirely. Actually I wished I was watching a different movie altogether (it was a choice of this or Paddington Bear . I’m sorry Paddington, I should have gone with you ).

I’m not so concerned with giving this a proper review because let’s face it , the internet has been broken with reviews of this movie. Although I do feel I should warn you about what to expect from your entire viewing experience:

– Be prepared for a full cinema . Couples, mothers and daughters (yeah, I know), friends, individuals on their own, they’ll all be there sitting next to you through a dozen sex scenes. There were people sitting in the front row yesterday ; your eyes will hurt but you get to see a 70 foot penis ! Yay!

– Advertising is different for these movies (who knew!) . Up first was an advert for Durex pleasure gel, followed by a barely dressed model having an orgasm over 0% fat yoghurt.

Warnings aside, I have to say I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard with an audience. All of what this movie was going for was lost on us. We hated it, and it was hilarious.

On the way to the cinema though, we saw something actually worth seeing; an art school spraying graffiti (legally) on to shop shutters for an art project.

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Also in the same alley was a new gallery which had just opened. The name I can’t remember so that’s not very helpful. Most of the paintings were over £1000, which also isn’t very helpful. Great seeing new places popping up in any case , go and check it out if you can ! (take the tram in to Croydon and wander, you’ll find it eventually 🙂 )

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