Posted in Comedy, Humour, Life, Miscellaneous

I’m sorry the old Lana can’t come to the phone right now ..

This is a line from a horrendously catchy song Lana . Maybe your generation will still listen to Taylor Swift, maybe (hopefully) not.

The line made me think of you because it doesn’t take much for me to think of you , but also because I have no idea who you are right now. A few weeks ago we had it all figured out. We knew what made you happy, sad, etc.

Not anymore.

Here are some examples of your behaviour recently:

– You cry (briefly) when I leave you at nursery. Today you didn’t cry, but instead threw your toy train at the child I put you next to and then, shortly after, you knocked over his bowl of rice crispies. Oh yes, you’re that baby now.

I’m not so surprised at these stunts. I think it’s no coincidence that they come shortly after I’ve left work and have been at home with you more than you’re used to. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but apparently I’m amazing to be around.

– When you don’t get what you want in that instant, you turn into one of those toys that collapse when you push their base. Sometimes you don’t even cry, you just fall over and play possum. It’s funny , until it happens in a shopping centre.

– You are persistent and you do not let things go.One week ago, you dropped a little toy behind our bed. There was no way to get it back unless we moved the entire bed and headboard, so I told you that it was gone (forever). You seemed to understand.

Last night you cried before bedtime and when I asked you what was wrong you pointed to the bed and asked for that same toy. So I guess we’re moving our bed tonight.

It’s getting harder to solve all these behaviours and problems with food or milk, and we really have to start using our heads with you. I love it; I love your persistency and stubbornness, all of it.

There are good behaviours too:

– You give kisses and hugs without me asking for them.

– You say please and thank you , except your Please sounds like an order and your Thank You sounds sarcastic. Someone gave you an ice cream cone the other day and you said Thank you very much; emphasising the very much and giving the fakest smile I have ever seen. It was beautiful.

– You don’t throw your food at me or the floor anymore (honestly I never thought we’d get there with this one – flash forward to us in our fifties and sixties sitting with you, and food on our faces).

– You’ve started laughing when something funny happens on a TV show or cartoon.

As ever, you are a creature of habit and like for the day to have order (eating time, nap time, bed time etc). Your sleeping has not changed and you wake every 4-5 hours, which we have come to accept as ‘good’. I don’t talk about your sleep patterns with other mothers anymore simply because there is no one left who has the same pattern in our circles, and that’s okay.

So that’s you this month. Also, our cat is still alive and you are getting on despite your differences.