Hello everybody ,
I have spent all of this last week surrounded by people. Good people.
This week and next, I am living alone with asshole-cat (that’s his name now). A series of rather unfortunate events have led to this situation and I would share it if the events were mine and mine alone.
But instead I will be cryptic as f**k.
I have never lived alone. My first hour of it last night was spent crying , eating cheese and staring at the carpet .
Today, I started to get the hang of it.
I decided not to come home immediately and instead took the train for two more stops.
I bought gluten free bread rolls.
I got home an hour late (late for what?) and cleaned a ‘Number 2’ out of the bath . Asshole-cat leaves these presents regularly now . His ‘Number 2’ is in-fact his Number 1 priority.
My favourite part though was coming home to a letter from our Solicitors (we’re still trying to move house).Earlier this week we had received our contracts for signing , except there were no indications of where we needed to sign.
Because all humans find contracts deathly boring to read, solicitors and contract-writers all over the world place post-its or signs indicating where you would need to scribble your signature. All solicitors but ours that is.
I had to manually put little asterisks’s on the sections we needed to pay attention to. A job which I am actually paying somebody else to do.
The letter today said this :
” Thank you for kindly sending through your contract documentation which we have today received. Unfortunately Page 2 of 15 requires your signature and we have noted that this was not provided. Please could you kindly sign the relevant section , labelled with an Asterisk, and return to us at your earliest convenience.”
I responded :
“Thank you for kindly letting us know you have received our documentation. Apologies for the missed section. We received the documentation earlier last week and I spent some time going through the contract , labelling the relevant sections with an Asterisk, and promptly signing the relevant sections. Enclosed is Page 2 with the signature. I can’t believe I missed my own Asterisk! “.
I think I won.